The Waiting Game

Is there anything worse than just waiting around for something to happen? Waiting in line, being on hold on the phone, waiting to get back an urgent email, waiting for surgery, waiting to hear back from a school you applied to, waiting for test results, etc.

Waiting has been my life recently and let me tell you, it's the worst. I would rather know than have to wait to know. Even if the thing to know is bad. I would rather know than be anticipating the outcome. At least then you could have a reaction or plan.

But waiting... there can be no plan of action. The plan is to wait. And if I am waiting, I start planning for every possible outcome in my head and what I am going to personally do. But, my actual actions are paralyzed. I cannot act on what I do not know. So instead, I sit and prepare (really panic) in my mind.

Yea, the waiting game is most definitely not a game. 

Don't you hate it when you become the person you used to hate?

Recently, I've realized that I am the person I used to judge and dislike. Seriously.

1. Engaged people. When I was a sophomore in college, a girl in my ward was engaged. Her roommates complained that he was always there and sometimes he even slept over. She got up on the last fast Sunday of the year to bear her testimony of being engaged. She realized that it was going to be her last chance to bare (bear?) her testimony as a single person.

I judged this girl. And now... I understand. I don't think I would go so far to stand up and bare my testimony of getting married. But I understand the desire. It is a big shift. It's actually huge and my testimony has grown a lot because of it. And as to Bryce always being around... well, I would say more that I am never around at my place and always at his. I hope his roommates don't hate me.
  .

2. Teaching Assistants who are heartless. When I was in Political Science 200, I hated my TA. I worked so hard and it just seemed like he did not recognize my progression. I went in to talk to the Professor and I cried. Something about talking to Professors or TAs about my grades and frustrations ends in tears for me. I think it is because I am so scared to do it. But somehow, it doesn't stop me from going in and talking to them about what I did wrong. For another political science class, I thought I wrote an amazing paper and I got a B-. I went in and talked to the TA and... cried. I was so embarrassed. I ran from her from then on.

So, now I am a TA. First of all, I'm pretty sure I have the reputation of being the toughest grader, which is incredibly ironic. But the most recent eerie thing is that I have a student who works so hard- comes to all of my labs and submits her paper to me early every time to review it- but her papers are never very good. Every time I have to give her a ton of things to change and every  time she cries. I feel so horrible- that used to be me!! I can't believe the feeling of deja vu I got today as she cried again and
clearly wanted me to leave because she felt so embarrassed. I just wanted to tell her "I hate me too! You get an A." 

3. People who know the Professors and benefit from that. I was in this class where the Professor was always constantly referencing the work he was doing with one student in the class. It drove me crazy. It seemed like a exclusive club, that kept being shoved in everyone else's face. Not only that, but the guy in the class totally seemed to be coasting! He would show up late to class and I swear I remember hearing him discussing not handing in a paper on time.

Well, you guessed it, that's me. I am that girl. I work for a couple of the professors in the political science department. It works to my benefit all the time. Not in big ways, but in those small irritating ways. I hand things in a couple hours late, I don't make it to class on time, and Professors reference things to me alone. I would normally not cash in on these things, but this semester with my engagement slacker-ness, I have needed any little help I can get. I feel bad about it... kind of.

4. PDA couples. Man, I hated those people. People who couldn't go 5 minutes without a quick peck or touching each other, or constantly cuddling. I remember telling my friends that there should be a couple section in the library so no one else had be grossed out by them. More specifically, I remember making fun of Meredith and Steven (to their face) about how they always held hands.

              Seriously I hope we are not this bad. Also, this picture makes me laugh.

And now... that's me. It hit me today as I was holding Bryce's hand and typing on the computer with one hand. Sick. Really? We're that couple now. Yes. We are. Hopefully, we are not the couple that is making out in public (still can't being myself to do that), but we hold hands, touch each other, and peck each other. I am ashamed, but at the same time, I am so in love

So... I am pretty much my own worst enemy. At least, my old worst enemy.

Before you judge me, just realize that it will probably happen to you too.

Ta-da!

 

This is my engagement ring. I am only showing this here because so many people wanted to see it. Before, I had a fake ring from Walmart that turned my finger green. No joke. It was purple, blue, or clear colored depending on the lighting.

But yes, here is the real thing. I love it. And no, I'm not adding a band. I like it simple....

Putting of Work Can be Productive

So, I am putting off doing research and for some reason decided to go through Carly and Daniel's old blog posts. And I came across this picture:

I laughed out loud. This was a real sign at the Dude Ranch Cafe in Malad, Idaho. No joke.

So I decided to put it on my blog because I think everyone needs to know or needs reminding about this picture.

It's time to make this official

I am engaged. I figure everyone who reads this blog knows, but I wanted to make a formal announcement.

How did people make things official before facebook and blogs? I just don't know.

Burlington Coat Factory is always good for a couple of laughs

A couple of days ago, Bryce and I went to Burlington Coat Factory to check on the status of buying a high chair for Sadie. Hillary and I tried to buy it for Carly for Thanks-mas, but there was only the display one left. So the manager of the store took our name and number and promised to call as soon as they got more of it in.

They never called me. I finally got my act together and went down to the Old Coat Factory this week and started asking some questions.

Again, we discovered there was only one left and it was the same one on display from last month. It felt like deja vu as, again, we called the manager and asked if they had more in stock, etc. We decided to not even bring up the past visit.

This time however, we got the woman who was in charge of the baby section. She was more knowledgeable about the situation than the previous store manager...and more annoyed.

She started lecturing me about how there was a sticker on it. The orange sticker meant that it was the last one of the current model and a model for the new year was coming out. Therefore, no more of that model would ever come in. That was why it was on sale.

Then, the kicker.

She touched my stomach and said:

"Obviously you are newly pregnant and are not familiar with the system."

I just stared at her while she continued to tell me about the system. Bryce chipped in with "The highchair isn't for us. It's for someone else." She got flustered and a lot nicer after that.

But that wasn't my main reaction.

Do I look pregnant? Do Bryce and I look married? Do I look old enough to be with child? All of these questions flashed in my mind.

There are several things that could have led to her misinterpretation. I was wearing a coat; Bryce and I are in love; I live in Utah and girls get pregnant younger. Mainly, I think she was irritated with me and did not think too hard before she spoke.

I'm really not offended- maybe a little bit shocked.

But mostly, I am really really amused.