Auntie Alicia

Carly had her baby today! Her name is Sadie Rose Nielson and she is adorable. I have nothing really to say about it; I just wanted to post about it because I am so excited and can't really find any other outlet for it.

Top Five Reasons I am excited:

5. Both Sadie and Carly are doing really well. Carly called my mom while she was in labor. Way to set the bar high Carly. Seriously? And Sadie is a normal height and weight, even though she is 3 weeks early. Like her Mom, she likes to set the bar high.

4. This is my first niece or nephew ever. It's kind of a big deal. Nuff said.

3. My Mom and Dad are grandparents. They are going to make amazing grandparents and I cannot wait to see them in action. I keep trying to think of names for them in my head... but I think I should probably leave that up to Sadie herself.

2. Carly and Daniel are going to be incredible parents. They already are amazing people, but I am looking forward to seeing how Sadie impacts them.

1. Sadie herself. Her name itself is so cute. But she also looks cute in the pictures I have seen. She also promises to be a character to remember. I am so excited to be around her and learn from her.

I also am excited to have a another family birthday in July... I don't feel as lonely now. There are two of us now Sadie. Thanks...

Modesty: More than Just the Letter of the Law?

**Warning: Long Philosophical Post Ahead**

Yesterday I went to a secondhand store and bought two dresses from a vintage store. One of them was this little number:
I love this dress. I also love the idea that maybe it is from an earlier decade and it's really old (probably not because it wasn't that expensive). But I loved so much I wore it to church today.

And then I had an interesting experience.

On the walk to the Metro this morning, I noticed a lot of men looking at me. Then I started paying attention and realized a high percentage of the men who passed stared at me as I walked to church. These men were distracted by my dress (I am not so foolish to think it is me). My outfit made them stop whatever they were doing to stop and stare.

This sparked an interesting conversation with the other girls around me: Is this dress immodest? It technically follows all of the rules: shoulders covered, to the knees, etc. But this dress distracted many of the men around me. Is this dress going against the spirit of the law of modesty?

The point of this post is not to get people to say whether they think this particular dress is modest or not, but more to get people's perspective on modesty. In our conversation, important questions about modesty came up.

(1) What is the point of modesty?

Often in Young Womens, the emphasis is placed on not distracting guys; covering ourselves to make it easier for men to think good clean thoughts.

If that is the point, is making yourself "distractingly" attractive being immodest? The obvious problem with this point is that we have been told to make ourselves presentable and even attractive. But is there a line between being attractive and going too far (even if following all of the technical rules)?

Is there a distinction between guys thoughts when a women is modestly really attractive and when she is immodest? Or does it lead to the same result; if it is different, is it better?

A different point of modesty is that we need to honor our bodies as a gift from God; our body is a temple. If this is the only point of modesty, that kind of takes care of all of the other questions. But, what if someone's version of honoring their body is being immodest? Clearly, we think there are rules to honoring our bodies; you can't just do anything you think is honoring (multiple piercings, unnatural hair color, etc.).

Perhaps modesty is just preparing us for temple garments. I'm sure this is part of it, but I don't think it is all of it.

Another point of modesty is learning to follow the Prophets' council. Perhaps this is reason enough to do anything in life: trusting the mouthpiece of the Lord. But I think when we come up with reasons why we follow the council, often our resolve to do becomes stronger and we follow it better. Also, I am trying to figure out what the council is right now.

(2) What is the role of intent in modesty?

Someone suggested that intent is what really matters. If you are dressing to get all of the guys attention, that is immodest. But it is modest if you are just dressing to make yourself presentable.

But there is an argument that intentionally or not, immodesty leads to the same consequences. For example, if a girl does not realize her skirt is too high, it still is too high and this leads to the same amount of distraction as if she had known.

(3) Are we responsible for others' reaction to us?

Another point brought up is if we are following all of the rules and doing everything in our power to be modest, is it our fault if we distract others? Should I even be having these questions; am I worrying about something that I cannot control?

One guy suggested if a girl is being modest and a guy still thinks unclean thoughts about her, it is on him not her. But if a girl wears an outfit she knows will do this to men, is it on her? Or is she just being attractive?

(4) Often, the phrase modesty in word and action is used. What does modesty in action mean?

It naturally roles of the tongue, but I never really thought about what phrase means. Perhaps it means what we said earlier but in terms of actions: acting in a way that does not distract men; honoring your body with actions. But what do those mean? I do not know.

Maybe modesty in action is something like trying to describe salt. You know it when you taste it, but you cannot explain it to someone else. Perhaps you just you when you are acting immodestly. But what if you don't?

(5) Is conservatism part of modesty?

In For Strength of Youth, I think it discourages wearing immodest earrings. What are immodest earrings? I am not sure, but I think it has to do with size, color, style, etc.

Are we allowed to wear clothing that is "out there"? Does modesty have a certain style to it, and if it does, are certain styles in it of themselves immodest? Like clothing that is loud or a little bit crazy. I do not think the church wants us to dress like nuns or even sister missionaries all the time. But should we be closer to that end than we are?

Obviously, I have not really come to any conclusions on these questions. All of these points and ideas are still roaming around in my head. Another important point is that what God cares about is that we are trying our hardest to obey him. I know this and perhaps I am going beyond the mark. I am not meaning to. I am just trying to figure out the "spirit of the law" of modesty.

So often, the letter of the law of modesty is what is emphasized to women. The letter is important, even crucial. But I think knowing the spirit of laws is the higher law.

Please share your ideas and insights. I really am open to anything. Except you saying I am stupid... that I do not appreciate or welcome.

Rubbing elbows with powerful and influential people

This is me with the Secretary of Education, Arne Duncan. He's a big deal.

I met him because they let anyone who asks meet him. He was really nice and has a Chicagoan accent. Also, he is really tall.

I told him how I think schools should run in America. While at first he was a little hesitant, he soon realized I was brilliant and right. He started to furiously take notes and will be announcing these new ideas at a press conference soon. He also offered me a job as an Assistant Secretary, which I unfortunately had to turn down because I still have a year left at BYU and I am not sure that education policy is what I want to go into. Too bad.

Before this picture, the photographer had to tell him to calm down and poor Arne wiped the tears of gratitude away from his eyes. He shook my hand and made me promise I would never forget him because I was going places.

DC interns are the most powerful people in the world.

Here are some other random things I have been up to...
This is us at this park right next to the Kennedy Airport. It sounds kind of lame, but we sat there and watched as planes flew right above us. It was awesome. And kind of weird. What have we come to as humans where we go to a park to watch planes fly? I don't know.














This is outside of the Smithsonian museum of art. My friend Eric and I spent the whole time in the National Portrait Gallery. They had portraits of influential people in America's history. It was awesome and really interesting. We decided to take this artsy shot afterward- it went along with the theme of the museum. If you look closely, I'm pretty sure you can see that I am laughing. But I still like this picture.

This is when we went to Club Love. I had a lot of fun, but it mostly because I love dancing. I don't really enjoy the club atmosphere though. I prefer church dances (and I am not being sarcastic) or, 80s dancing (the BEST). Also, I have never felt so aware of my race. We were the only white people there and some in the group unfortunately fulfilled the stereotype of white-guys-can't-dance. It was a fun experience, but definitely an adventure.
This is at the Mall on the fourth of July. We went to the concert before and during the concert. Barry Manilow, Aretha Franklin, Natasha Bedingfield, cast from "The Jersey Boys" and SESAME STREET PUPPETS were there. It was a great show. Especially great was the 1812 Overture they played along with the fireworks. There were so many people all over. It was jampacked! It was fun to dance during the show and go crazy. I did not hold back at all. Especially during Jesrey Boys. Also, Barry Manilow is one of the dorkiest people ever. I could tell from where I was sitting... We watched fireworks with the Washington Monument right there. It was wonderful.

This is a picture from Gettysburg. There was this old little castle and my friend took this picture of me in the windy staircase. Can you tell how excited I am to be in a castle?

Hopefully, I will get more pictures from Gettysburg later that will actually show more of Gettysburg- because I loved it and loved learning more about it.

Also, I am wearing a dress from China. Sisi's Dad is a designer in China and he sends Sisi clothes. This blue dress did not fit Sisi, so she gave it to me. It's absolutely beautiful and it's from China. So that makes it even cooler.

Public Transportation: A Piece of Heaven on Earth?

My parents and I decided that instead of flying back to Boston, I am going to take an eight hour train ride. Eight hours on a train with two huge suitcases.

That's not even the weirdest aspect of this story. The weirdest thing is that I am really excited. I am so excited to go on a train. I have been on one before, but never for that long or over such a long distance. Part of me wants to go on an overnight train so I can sleep in a room with a bed (a la White Christmas) and eat in the cafe with strangers (a la North by Northwest).

More than just riding a train, I have realized this summer that I love riding public transportation in general. Each morning I get ready to go to work and leave with a skip in my step knowing that I am going to get to ride the Metro. When I get off of the Metro, I am a little sad the experience is over.

It's not limited to trains and metros, but also buses; any type of public transportation really.

Yea, I'm on the same level as John Candy about public transportation.

I have told some people this realization and while some have expressed understanding, others have not so much. So, I am going to try to tease out some of the reasons for my deep love of public transportation:

5. It is so unique to cities. It is this part of city culture that other people do not understand. When I came to BYU, so many of friends had never ridden on a train and were actually afraid to do so. I could not believe it. Afraid of trains? Why? But honestly, it's probably similar to how I have never gone shooting; there is just major differences between city and country culture. Not that one is better.

4. I grew up in Boston and took advantage of public transportation. As someone who loved to go into Boston and had no license, I used public transportation all the time. Because of this, public transportation feels a little bit like home to me. Seriously. I'm not joking. It's almost a part of my childhood.

3. I love knowing my way around. There is something so thrilling to me to becoming a local in a city and being able to pick out the tourists or others new to the city who have no idea how to use public transportation. They don't know the unspoken law of public transportation (1. stand right, walk left 2. no loud talking 3. walk as fast as you can, etc.) It makes it even better when you make eye contact with another local and laugh at the newcomers. It makes me smile on the outside and inside. Oh silly tourists, the metro is for locals.

2. Something about public transportation is peaceful to me. On trains, I always read or just let my mind wander off. Public transportation is a break from the rest of the world. It is so relaxing. Some of my greatest insights (including this realization that I love public transportation) come while I am riding public transportation.

1. This is somewhat connected to number 4, but I love the random times when you bond with strangers for some random thing that happened. For example this morning on the metro, our conductor made some jokes over the loud speaker. Everyone laughed out loud. I watched this old white lady and young latino teenage boy look at each and smile. I myself laughed with a random man standing next to me. For a second, we were all together.

Another time, a pregnant woman came onto a crowded train. She just stood when a young punkish dressed teenage stood up to let her have his seat. A big smile came across her face as she sat. I looked at that and was inspired. Now, I am always looking for people to give my seat to. And I don't think I was the only one who noticed it.

So, is there any question why I would be so excited to ride a train? Not only all of those reasons, but trains seem particularly old hollywood. They seem really romantic (not in the love way, but in the way Anne Shirley meant it... but not excluding former).

Thus, I find myself not only looking forward to going home because I get to spend time with my great family, but also because I get to take an 8 hour train ride.

Me in 5 weeks. I'm peaceful...and fed.

Imagine what insights I'll have by the end of that ride...

Age Ain't Nothing But A Number?

When I went to college, most people talked about how in college, age doesn't matter. Everyone is in the same phase of life (college) and therefore, there aren't really distinctions based on age. Everyone is in the same time period in their life.

Some recent experiences have gone against this theory:

1. Several males here in Washington Seminar have dating age minimums or maximums they will not break. One of my friends will not date someone younger than 20- even if she is perfect for him. One of my friends will not date anyone older than him. Not one day. Clearly, age means something to these guys.

2. People thought I was older than twenty. Most people in my program were under the impression that I was 23 or 24. They found out was not 21 when we decided we were going to a club and I told everyone I was not yet 21. Everyone reacted with shock and surprise. One of my friends kept saying over and over "I can't believe you are 20. I can't believe you are 20." Again, age seems to indicate something to them.

age doesn't matter in the animal kingdom, why in the human world?

3. Since that time, people have treated me a little differently. Not badly, just like I am younger than them; maybe like they have to watch out for me a little bit. It's interesting. Especially some of my guy friends, are suddenly a little protective of me.

4. Some of guy friends are really self conscious about their ages. The mission often makes men older than woman who are in the same grade. Some of them are really nervous about how much older they are then me. Often we will have conversations about what was cool when we were in middle school and one of them will say "That was cool when you were in middle school? I was a senior in high school." And then will get really embarrassed and not want to talk about it anymore.

If age really ain't nothing but a number, as Aaliyah would have us believe, why should any of this matter? It doesn't matter if I am 20 if you didn't notice. What does it matter if I am 20? The clubs care, but should anyone else?

Does me being 20 turn me into one of these small children automatically?

Apparently, age means something other than a number for some people.

But for me, as always, I will follow the wise words of a popular song from middle school.