Why I want Christmas to Commit to Me and No One Else

I love Christmas. That much is clear (especially from my last post). 

However,  I have discovered a new element of my love: desire for exclusivity.

Recently, the month changed from November to December; Thanksgiving happened; Black Friday occurred. All of these events result in most of the world celebrating the Christmas season. 

This should make me happy. I am now in the norm. No one can make fun of me for listening to Christmas music, for putting up Christmas lights, or wishing others Merry Christmas.  

However, I have discovered quite the opposite. Instead, I find myself rolling my eyes when I see BYU campus all aglow with twinkle-lights. I chuckle when others say they are excited to listen to Christmas music. I mumble "poser" when I see a guy walking around with a Santa hat. 

Specifically, I caught myself getting annoyed at a group of people talking about Christmas the other day and I was horrified. I, the number one fan of Christmas, was frustrated with people spreading the Christmas cheer? Weird.

And then it hit me: I like that I celebrate it before everyone else. I like that no one knows anyone who loves Christmas as much as me. I like being exclusive with Christmas: just it and me. 

It may seem stupid (it is) or irrational (it is). But nevertheless, it is the truth.

I think it compares to how some people like a band until the band becomes "too big". Or how others refuse to read Harry Potter because everyone likes that book. Except it's weirder than that... because it's Christmas.

I also realize this is not true in terms of sharing Christmas with the people I love. I want them in on it too. But strangers, how dare they rain on my parade!

Hopefully, as the Christmas season goes on, I will warm up to the idea of sharing it with others. But I don't know. Our relationship is pretty special.  

  

Christmas coming later than usual?

Usually, I am obsessed with Christmas at this time of year. I would probably lie to you if you asked me directly, but I usually have started listening to Christmas music by mid-October and have already given Mr. Kruger's Christmas at least one viewing. And probably Home Alone, Miracle on 34th Street, and It's a Wonderful Life (to name a few of my favorites). I love Christmas and that love starts early.

First, I want to say that I am not ashamed. I have reasons and they are justified.

My Christmas season starts earlier than others for several reasons. Another top six list for you:

6. Recently, my family has celebrated Christmas at Thanksgiving. We do this every other year because we can only all get together for Christmas every other year. Therefore, Christmas lists are sent around and I have to start Christmas shopping now. This year is one of those years.

5. I was in Madrigals when I was in High School. We started practicing Christmas songs in September. Therefore, I got used to thinking about Christmas in September.

I love pictures like this at this time of year.

4. I like to take a long time thinking about what I am going to get people for Christmas. I haven't been as good at this as I used to be, but still, the habit was formed of starting to think about Christmas early.

3. Christmas is a time where you can be really really cheesy and no one calls you on it. In fact, people praise you for it. For example, the song about the Christmas shoes; (I'm gonna buy these shoes, 'Cuz they are just her shoes.... you know what song I am talking about?) that song is ridiculous. But people love it and some even know all the words. Why? Because it is connected with Christmas and really really cliche.

2. I love how friendly everyone is around Christmas. I worked in a Mormon bookstore on Saturdays in high school. There was this one Saturday in November where the store was packed and everyone was shopping for Christmas. Christmas songs were playing in the background. People were singing along and talking to each other in line. Laughter filled the air... or rather, the jam-packed store.

If it was not Christmas, do you think those people would have been happy waiting in line for 20 minutes? No. I distinctly remember thinking, this is why I love Christmas

1. I love how I think about Christ and giving all the time around Christmas. Seriously. It is so wonderful. Therefore, I wonder why should I not expand the time that I spend thinking about those good and praiseworthy things?

But this year, I realized there is an even bigger reason than all of those. The cold weather and snow. They are the real reasons I start celebrating Christmas.

This year in Utah, the fall has been amazing. It has been warm and it has lasted longer than any other fall. And I have felt almost no desire to listen to some Bing Crosby's or Mariah Carey's Christmas albums.

I don't like the cold or the snow. But Christmas makes my dislike go away and makes them okay. Therefore, no snow/cold and I lose my obsession.

It's both relieving and sad that my obsession with Christmas is really just a way to make it through the weather. But, the truth has been revealed.

That being said, I am seriously considering watching Home Alone.

Good Better Best: Passing School, Having Friends, Enjoying Life

For the past few weeks, I have been incredibly busy. I feel like I haven't had time to breath. All of my free time has been structured and planned; none of this "hanging out" business.

It's been hard. I have stayed on campus doing homework from at least 9 am to midnight every night. I come home and just fall into bed. I wake up and start to study immediately.

All in an effort to pass two classes: Political Science 328 and 310. And all of this effort and pain is causing me to think: is there an application of Elder Oak's talk of Good Better Best here?

I am killing myself to try to do well. Doing well in school is good, but is there a better? Or a best? Is enjoying my last year at BYU perhaps more important? Is spending time with my friends before we all part perhaps a better use of time? Is eating food crucial to survival?

As I type this, I realize that I wouldn't really enjoy my last year if I didn't do well in school or if I just gave up. But I do find myself wondering if there is a better balance out there between all of these things that I just have not found it yet.

If you know what it is, please tell me. And please get me something similar to an oxygen tank for the breathing problem.

Ms. Andrea Kinghorn is my hero

On September 8, it was Andrea Kinghorn's birthday. And I missed it. It's especially bad because I love Andrea. Seriously, this woman changed my life. Andrea is absolutely amazing and I learned so much from her. So partially because I have planning to this for a while, partially because I did not do anything for her on her birthday, and mostly because I absolutely love her, I am going to talk about all of the things I love about Ms. Andrea Kinghorn.

Andrea is one of smartest persons I know. But that is only part of the reason. I love how Andrea uses her intelligence. There were several nights in DC where Andrea and I would stay up talking about different political, social, and religious issues. We would always aim to go to bed and then end up talking for hours. I love how Andrea challenged the way I thought about things, but at the same time gave legitimacy to my point. See, Andrea could easily tear apart whatever point I made if she wanted to (that's how much smarter she is then me). But she never did. She thoughtfully pointed out new points, showed me holes in my argument, and pushed me to refine my ideas. She is so smart, but she did and does not hold it against me. Instead, she tried to bring me up to her level. I loved discussing things with Andrea for those reasons.

Andrea plays along with me. That sounds really stupid, but often times, I wanted to do stupid things or things she just did not want to do. But Andrea always came along and did them with me because she knew it mattered to me. One example is going to Serendipity 3 in New York with me. She only went because she knew I wanted to go. She does this not only with me, but with everyone. She eats crab. She talks politics when she doesn't want to. She plays Heart and Soul on the big piano because her immature friend insists.

Andrea's laugh. This seems minor or insignificant. But almost nothings brings me immediate joy like her laugh. She has this laugh that is so honest sounding. I love it because it is loud and nothing is fake about it. When I think about it, it actually represents Andrea herself perfectly.

Andrea's "sassy"ness. I'm a little worried that Andrea might take this as an insult, but I loved moments when Andrea's sassy side broke through. One of my favorite moments was when a certain someone said Andrea and I were liberals and therefore "not for the family." This could not be further from the truth, especially for Andrea who is an MFHD major. She shut down that comment in less than a minute. It was awesome. I especially like it because Andrea tries so hard to not let that side out because she is so incredibly nice and whenever it escapes, she always feels bad and apologizes. I never wanted her to apologize because I loved those moments so much.

(Connected to the last one). Andrea's loyalty. Andrea defends who and what she loves. I witnessed this for myself and others. There was one individual (let's call him Jeff K. no J. King) who kept bothering another individual. This other individual told Andrea that he was struggling with king because he did not want to react immaturely. Andrea came in and got king to back off (okay, maybe only a little, but it worked). For myself, there was a time in New York when a T-shirt guy was yelling at me because I said his shirts were too expensive. Andrea forcefully told him he made his point, to leave me alone, or she was not buying anything. I was so grateful to Andrea in that moment and there have been many more since then.

Andrea is one of the hardest workers I have ever met. Andrea once told me when she got a job, she wanted to have a desk she could stand at and she had to be in an office by herself because she worked better with no distractions. Andrea works hard in every aspect of her life. She organizes whole trips to New York. She loves researching and talking about things she learned in her classes. She loved studying for the LSAT and even misses it. The thing that gets me is that Andrea doesn't have to work hard because she is so intelligent. But she still does it because she wouldn't know what to do if she wasn't working hard. She pushed me to work harder just by being herself.

Andrea's friendliness. Andrea always went to the missionary Sunday school class in DC. She not only went, but met the people who were investigating the church. She not only met them, but actually befriended them. She always said hi to the homeless man we walked by everyday. She knew people in the ward when most people in the Barlow Center did not bother to reach out to others. Again, she got me to do the same.

Andrea's quickness to forgive, love, and apologize. There was a time in DC when I went through this funk. I was irritated with people for little things that did not deserve it. One night, it was Andrea who was the victim of my mood. Instead of pointing out my irrationality, Andrea wrote me a note apologizing and put it on my bed. She seriously had nothing to apologize for. But Andrea is always like. She is quick to try to see the best in others and put the blame on herself.

Andrea's spirituality. You know in church when they talk about people who you can just tell they have the light of Christ in them? Andrea is one of those people. You can tell; even if you don't really know her. She just reeks of a strong testimony. It was so great to be around her and learn from her. I loved talking about the church with her and hearing her insight. She is going to make an amazing missionary and I am excited for anyone who is investigating the church in her mission.

I could go on and on. But this post is already long enough as it is. Therefore, I am going to cut myself off now.

I love you Andrea and I am so glad I was your roommate in DC. Happy Belated Birthday.

To Every Season...

The past month has been crazy and all over the place.

I moved out of the famous Barlow, leaving DC and went home to Boston. Yes, the trainride was amazing. Althought the food cart was not as impressive as I wanted it to. I hung out with family in Boston and soaked up the general coolness/atmosphere of Boston. I helped Hillary (a little) pack up for college. I finished a couple of things I have been meaning to finish for a while- including scrapbooking my freshman year(!!).

I came to Utah pretty early to spend time with my new niece Sadie Rose Nielson. She is adorable and I have to say, I am a fan of being an aunt. She's pretty quiet right now (she sleeps most of the time), but when she is awake, she is amazing. Even when she was asleep, I loved being around her. Carly and Daniel are so cute with her too.

I also spent time with extended family both in Utah and Idaho. It was nice to visit with everybody and nice getting fresh vegetables from Malad.

After spending a week with family, I moved into my new apartment and unpacked my things. My Mom and Dad were a huge help to me. I don't know how I would have done it without them. I still have some things that I don't know where they are going to go, but I hope I will figure it out soon.... some of it is still in the middle of my room.

And now I am in school. I have already started working as a TA again and taking the hardest class in my major: Political Science 328, Political Quantative Methodology (yes it is as hard as it sounds). I am absolutely terrified. Everyone who I have talked to who has taken the class says to plan on 15-20 hours per week on this class. I talked to the TA and he was very upfront about how this will be the hardest class I will ever take, but he argues that it also is the most rewarding.

Something that struck me as funny was how he talked about how muchStatisticians make; they can make a lot of money straight out of college apparently. I am still not sure why he did this. Just because I am in this class does not mean that I want to be a statistician. Just because statisticians make a lot of money does not make the material more interesting. Just because I could make a lot of money does mean I will be comforted when I am pulling out my hair trying to figure out how to run a regression in STATA. What if making a lot of money isn't a main goal of mine? It felt like he took all of that for granted.

That being said, he seemed like a good guy and a great TA. I just thought him talking about all of that was funny.

DC seems like a far distant thing now. I miss DC. But it also is nice to be in Provo again and hanging out with old friends. It's also nice to be in school... kind of. I'm mostly really scared to be in that class. I will probably start celebrating Christmas even early to help get myself through this class.

Basically, I am now turning.

(Reference to the song "To every season turn, turn, turn"... Whenever this song came on the radio, my Dad would ask me what scripture this came from. Anyone know it?)

Facts

Fact: I am heading to Boston in T-3 days on a train.

Fact: I have not begun to clean my room.

Fact: Arne Duncan threw a pizza party for all of the interns today. He was going around thanking people and all the interns were staring at him all googly-eyed (spelling?).

Fact: Arne said to my table "Thanks for all the work you do. I really appreciate it." I joked back "And thanks for the pizza. It's not as good as getting paid, but I'll take it." Arne laughed. All the interns then laughed really hard (notice they waited for him to laugh). Arne made a joke back and again, we bonded.

Fact: I am gaining power and influence with every additional day that I am here. Perhaps it is good that I leave DC so it doesn't go too much to my head.




Fact: I have loved DC. I have loved the people I met here. I am going to miss it a lot.

Auntie Alicia

Carly had her baby today! Her name is Sadie Rose Nielson and she is adorable. I have nothing really to say about it; I just wanted to post about it because I am so excited and can't really find any other outlet for it.

Top Five Reasons I am excited:

5. Both Sadie and Carly are doing really well. Carly called my mom while she was in labor. Way to set the bar high Carly. Seriously? And Sadie is a normal height and weight, even though she is 3 weeks early. Like her Mom, she likes to set the bar high.

4. This is my first niece or nephew ever. It's kind of a big deal. Nuff said.

3. My Mom and Dad are grandparents. They are going to make amazing grandparents and I cannot wait to see them in action. I keep trying to think of names for them in my head... but I think I should probably leave that up to Sadie herself.

2. Carly and Daniel are going to be incredible parents. They already are amazing people, but I am looking forward to seeing how Sadie impacts them.

1. Sadie herself. Her name itself is so cute. But she also looks cute in the pictures I have seen. She also promises to be a character to remember. I am so excited to be around her and learn from her.

I also am excited to have a another family birthday in July... I don't feel as lonely now. There are two of us now Sadie. Thanks...

Modesty: More than Just the Letter of the Law?

**Warning: Long Philosophical Post Ahead**

Yesterday I went to a secondhand store and bought two dresses from a vintage store. One of them was this little number:
I love this dress. I also love the idea that maybe it is from an earlier decade and it's really old (probably not because it wasn't that expensive). But I loved so much I wore it to church today.

And then I had an interesting experience.

On the walk to the Metro this morning, I noticed a lot of men looking at me. Then I started paying attention and realized a high percentage of the men who passed stared at me as I walked to church. These men were distracted by my dress (I am not so foolish to think it is me). My outfit made them stop whatever they were doing to stop and stare.

This sparked an interesting conversation with the other girls around me: Is this dress immodest? It technically follows all of the rules: shoulders covered, to the knees, etc. But this dress distracted many of the men around me. Is this dress going against the spirit of the law of modesty?

The point of this post is not to get people to say whether they think this particular dress is modest or not, but more to get people's perspective on modesty. In our conversation, important questions about modesty came up.

(1) What is the point of modesty?

Often in Young Womens, the emphasis is placed on not distracting guys; covering ourselves to make it easier for men to think good clean thoughts.

If that is the point, is making yourself "distractingly" attractive being immodest? The obvious problem with this point is that we have been told to make ourselves presentable and even attractive. But is there a line between being attractive and going too far (even if following all of the technical rules)?

Is there a distinction between guys thoughts when a women is modestly really attractive and when she is immodest? Or does it lead to the same result; if it is different, is it better?

A different point of modesty is that we need to honor our bodies as a gift from God; our body is a temple. If this is the only point of modesty, that kind of takes care of all of the other questions. But, what if someone's version of honoring their body is being immodest? Clearly, we think there are rules to honoring our bodies; you can't just do anything you think is honoring (multiple piercings, unnatural hair color, etc.).

Perhaps modesty is just preparing us for temple garments. I'm sure this is part of it, but I don't think it is all of it.

Another point of modesty is learning to follow the Prophets' council. Perhaps this is reason enough to do anything in life: trusting the mouthpiece of the Lord. But I think when we come up with reasons why we follow the council, often our resolve to do becomes stronger and we follow it better. Also, I am trying to figure out what the council is right now.

(2) What is the role of intent in modesty?

Someone suggested that intent is what really matters. If you are dressing to get all of the guys attention, that is immodest. But it is modest if you are just dressing to make yourself presentable.

But there is an argument that intentionally or not, immodesty leads to the same consequences. For example, if a girl does not realize her skirt is too high, it still is too high and this leads to the same amount of distraction as if she had known.

(3) Are we responsible for others' reaction to us?

Another point brought up is if we are following all of the rules and doing everything in our power to be modest, is it our fault if we distract others? Should I even be having these questions; am I worrying about something that I cannot control?

One guy suggested if a girl is being modest and a guy still thinks unclean thoughts about her, it is on him not her. But if a girl wears an outfit she knows will do this to men, is it on her? Or is she just being attractive?

(4) Often, the phrase modesty in word and action is used. What does modesty in action mean?

It naturally roles of the tongue, but I never really thought about what phrase means. Perhaps it means what we said earlier but in terms of actions: acting in a way that does not distract men; honoring your body with actions. But what do those mean? I do not know.

Maybe modesty in action is something like trying to describe salt. You know it when you taste it, but you cannot explain it to someone else. Perhaps you just you when you are acting immodestly. But what if you don't?

(5) Is conservatism part of modesty?

In For Strength of Youth, I think it discourages wearing immodest earrings. What are immodest earrings? I am not sure, but I think it has to do with size, color, style, etc.

Are we allowed to wear clothing that is "out there"? Does modesty have a certain style to it, and if it does, are certain styles in it of themselves immodest? Like clothing that is loud or a little bit crazy. I do not think the church wants us to dress like nuns or even sister missionaries all the time. But should we be closer to that end than we are?

Obviously, I have not really come to any conclusions on these questions. All of these points and ideas are still roaming around in my head. Another important point is that what God cares about is that we are trying our hardest to obey him. I know this and perhaps I am going beyond the mark. I am not meaning to. I am just trying to figure out the "spirit of the law" of modesty.

So often, the letter of the law of modesty is what is emphasized to women. The letter is important, even crucial. But I think knowing the spirit of laws is the higher law.

Please share your ideas and insights. I really am open to anything. Except you saying I am stupid... that I do not appreciate or welcome.

Rubbing elbows with powerful and influential people

This is me with the Secretary of Education, Arne Duncan. He's a big deal.

I met him because they let anyone who asks meet him. He was really nice and has a Chicagoan accent. Also, he is really tall.

I told him how I think schools should run in America. While at first he was a little hesitant, he soon realized I was brilliant and right. He started to furiously take notes and will be announcing these new ideas at a press conference soon. He also offered me a job as an Assistant Secretary, which I unfortunately had to turn down because I still have a year left at BYU and I am not sure that education policy is what I want to go into. Too bad.

Before this picture, the photographer had to tell him to calm down and poor Arne wiped the tears of gratitude away from his eyes. He shook my hand and made me promise I would never forget him because I was going places.

DC interns are the most powerful people in the world.

Here are some other random things I have been up to...
This is us at this park right next to the Kennedy Airport. It sounds kind of lame, but we sat there and watched as planes flew right above us. It was awesome. And kind of weird. What have we come to as humans where we go to a park to watch planes fly? I don't know.














This is outside of the Smithsonian museum of art. My friend Eric and I spent the whole time in the National Portrait Gallery. They had portraits of influential people in America's history. It was awesome and really interesting. We decided to take this artsy shot afterward- it went along with the theme of the museum. If you look closely, I'm pretty sure you can see that I am laughing. But I still like this picture.

This is when we went to Club Love. I had a lot of fun, but it mostly because I love dancing. I don't really enjoy the club atmosphere though. I prefer church dances (and I am not being sarcastic) or, 80s dancing (the BEST). Also, I have never felt so aware of my race. We were the only white people there and some in the group unfortunately fulfilled the stereotype of white-guys-can't-dance. It was a fun experience, but definitely an adventure.
This is at the Mall on the fourth of July. We went to the concert before and during the concert. Barry Manilow, Aretha Franklin, Natasha Bedingfield, cast from "The Jersey Boys" and SESAME STREET PUPPETS were there. It was a great show. Especially great was the 1812 Overture they played along with the fireworks. There were so many people all over. It was jampacked! It was fun to dance during the show and go crazy. I did not hold back at all. Especially during Jesrey Boys. Also, Barry Manilow is one of the dorkiest people ever. I could tell from where I was sitting... We watched fireworks with the Washington Monument right there. It was wonderful.

This is a picture from Gettysburg. There was this old little castle and my friend took this picture of me in the windy staircase. Can you tell how excited I am to be in a castle?

Hopefully, I will get more pictures from Gettysburg later that will actually show more of Gettysburg- because I loved it and loved learning more about it.

Also, I am wearing a dress from China. Sisi's Dad is a designer in China and he sends Sisi clothes. This blue dress did not fit Sisi, so she gave it to me. It's absolutely beautiful and it's from China. So that makes it even cooler.

Public Transportation: A Piece of Heaven on Earth?

My parents and I decided that instead of flying back to Boston, I am going to take an eight hour train ride. Eight hours on a train with two huge suitcases.

That's not even the weirdest aspect of this story. The weirdest thing is that I am really excited. I am so excited to go on a train. I have been on one before, but never for that long or over such a long distance. Part of me wants to go on an overnight train so I can sleep in a room with a bed (a la White Christmas) and eat in the cafe with strangers (a la North by Northwest).

More than just riding a train, I have realized this summer that I love riding public transportation in general. Each morning I get ready to go to work and leave with a skip in my step knowing that I am going to get to ride the Metro. When I get off of the Metro, I am a little sad the experience is over.

It's not limited to trains and metros, but also buses; any type of public transportation really.

Yea, I'm on the same level as John Candy about public transportation.

I have told some people this realization and while some have expressed understanding, others have not so much. So, I am going to try to tease out some of the reasons for my deep love of public transportation:

5. It is so unique to cities. It is this part of city culture that other people do not understand. When I came to BYU, so many of friends had never ridden on a train and were actually afraid to do so. I could not believe it. Afraid of trains? Why? But honestly, it's probably similar to how I have never gone shooting; there is just major differences between city and country culture. Not that one is better.

4. I grew up in Boston and took advantage of public transportation. As someone who loved to go into Boston and had no license, I used public transportation all the time. Because of this, public transportation feels a little bit like home to me. Seriously. I'm not joking. It's almost a part of my childhood.

3. I love knowing my way around. There is something so thrilling to me to becoming a local in a city and being able to pick out the tourists or others new to the city who have no idea how to use public transportation. They don't know the unspoken law of public transportation (1. stand right, walk left 2. no loud talking 3. walk as fast as you can, etc.) It makes it even better when you make eye contact with another local and laugh at the newcomers. It makes me smile on the outside and inside. Oh silly tourists, the metro is for locals.

2. Something about public transportation is peaceful to me. On trains, I always read or just let my mind wander off. Public transportation is a break from the rest of the world. It is so relaxing. Some of my greatest insights (including this realization that I love public transportation) come while I am riding public transportation.

1. This is somewhat connected to number 4, but I love the random times when you bond with strangers for some random thing that happened. For example this morning on the metro, our conductor made some jokes over the loud speaker. Everyone laughed out loud. I watched this old white lady and young latino teenage boy look at each and smile. I myself laughed with a random man standing next to me. For a second, we were all together.

Another time, a pregnant woman came onto a crowded train. She just stood when a young punkish dressed teenage stood up to let her have his seat. A big smile came across her face as she sat. I looked at that and was inspired. Now, I am always looking for people to give my seat to. And I don't think I was the only one who noticed it.

So, is there any question why I would be so excited to ride a train? Not only all of those reasons, but trains seem particularly old hollywood. They seem really romantic (not in the love way, but in the way Anne Shirley meant it... but not excluding former).

Thus, I find myself not only looking forward to going home because I get to spend time with my great family, but also because I get to take an 8 hour train ride.

Me in 5 weeks. I'm peaceful...and fed.

Imagine what insights I'll have by the end of that ride...

Age Ain't Nothing But A Number?

When I went to college, most people talked about how in college, age doesn't matter. Everyone is in the same phase of life (college) and therefore, there aren't really distinctions based on age. Everyone is in the same time period in their life.

Some recent experiences have gone against this theory:

1. Several males here in Washington Seminar have dating age minimums or maximums they will not break. One of my friends will not date someone younger than 20- even if she is perfect for him. One of my friends will not date anyone older than him. Not one day. Clearly, age means something to these guys.

2. People thought I was older than twenty. Most people in my program were under the impression that I was 23 or 24. They found out was not 21 when we decided we were going to a club and I told everyone I was not yet 21. Everyone reacted with shock and surprise. One of my friends kept saying over and over "I can't believe you are 20. I can't believe you are 20." Again, age seems to indicate something to them.

age doesn't matter in the animal kingdom, why in the human world?

3. Since that time, people have treated me a little differently. Not badly, just like I am younger than them; maybe like they have to watch out for me a little bit. It's interesting. Especially some of my guy friends, are suddenly a little protective of me.

4. Some of guy friends are really self conscious about their ages. The mission often makes men older than woman who are in the same grade. Some of them are really nervous about how much older they are then me. Often we will have conversations about what was cool when we were in middle school and one of them will say "That was cool when you were in middle school? I was a senior in high school." And then will get really embarrassed and not want to talk about it anymore.

If age really ain't nothing but a number, as Aaliyah would have us believe, why should any of this matter? It doesn't matter if I am 20 if you didn't notice. What does it matter if I am 20? The clubs care, but should anyone else?

Does me being 20 turn me into one of these small children automatically?

Apparently, age means something other than a number for some people.

But for me, as always, I will follow the wise words of a popular song from middle school.

I'm safe!

As some of you may know, there was a recent accident on the DC Metro. I am fine and completely safe. Here are some scary photos though.


It makes me never want to stand on a Metro again. 9 people have died so far- 9!


All of this being said, I am completely safe and everyone in my program is also safe. I didn't even know about the crash until I got home and I had several emails from the Washington Post telling me about it.

But this kind of freak accident makes me want to do something strange. My sister, Meredith, went on a cruise when she was in High School with the chorus (correct me if I get this story wrong Meredith). She somehow became afraid that she was going to die on the cruise. So, she decided to write letters to all of the members of her family telling them how much she loves them, maybe giving some advice, and saying good bye. It ended up being a moving experience for her and I believe a few tears were shed.

We all kind of laughed when Meredith told us about it years later. But this Metro accident made me want to do the same thing. But the problem is, I have too many people to write letters to! My family is only one section of the people who need letters. The task is overwhelming and it would take me a long time to write everyone who I would want to say farewell to.

Therefore, I am going to say a few general things right now in case I never get the chance to later. Thanks for everything; you changed my life and me for the better. I love you all and I am so glad I had the privilege of knowing, learning from, crying, and laughing with you. Please stay involved in the Gospel. Thanks for the seemingly insignificant moments only you and I will remember or cherish. It meant the world then and it still does. Good bye and I will see you again.

Sorry that was so cliche... I believe I warned you though.

Can you be too extreme in moderation?

This is a post about a new insight on life... so if you are not interested, just skip it. I won't be offended. I would rather you skip it than read it and be annoyed the whole time.

Since coming to Washington DC, I have discovered that I am a politically moderate person. This means that I am neither a democrat or a republican; on many issues, I understand both sides; my feelings on issues usually are somewhere between the two political parties.

I have claimed for a while that I was moderate, but part of it used to be because I simply was undecided on several issues. But my moderation now is not unclear or resulting from my lack of knowledge on the issues, but because I really am between the two sides.

I am decidedly moderate on many (if not all) political issues.

Often when I describe myself as moderate or independent, people take that to mean "undecided", "uninformed", or "please try to convince me of your party's correctness because I just don't know." But these assumptions are incorrect. I have thought about the issues and I often know where I stand. Just because it is not with either side does not mean I am unclear. Nor does it mean that I do not care. Political Science is my major- it matters to me.

Part of me thinks that being moderate is the right way to go for everyone. Moderates recognize there are rights and wrongs on both sides. They look for the rational behind all sides. They listen to all people and do not vote on party lines, but rather what they actually dis/agree with. Moderation is somewhat synonymous with rationale in my mind.

But I recently have realized this is not be true, at least not for me... I am extreme in my moderation!

What this means: I have a hard time taking any extreme seriously. If someone is extremely conservative or liberal, I often dismiss what they say. If someone says they just love Bill O'Reilly, I roll my eyes. If someone says Randi Rhodes has all of the answers, I chuckle to myself. If they think Obama is a demigod, I begin to tune them out. If they think Obama is Hitler reincarnated, it goes in one ear and out the other. Extreme people lose their credibility with me.

It's horrible. I am doing exactly what I blame the extreme people for doing. I judge them and do not give their argument a fair chance because I assume they have not given any other arguments a chance. Therefore, I am being extreme in my moderation and doing the vey thing I claim to dislike so much.

I do not know if this is making any sense, but from this new insight I have made a new goal:

I am going to be more moderate in my moderation.

Uncharted waters

I can't decide if this blog should literally be an update of what I am doing in DC, or new insights that I have. This confusion has caused me to write nothing on here for a while.

I still cannot decide.

But since updating takes less effort than talking about new insights, I am going to update.

When we first got here, my room was freezing. I went to bed looking like that every night for a while. I put 3 more sheets on my bed. It was really amusing to Andrea, my roommate. I made her take this picture because I look crazy.

I am wearing two shirts, a sweatshirt, leggings, and shorts. I was really cold.

Also, notice our room in the background. Doesn't it look like a church building? I get flashbacks to nursery sometimes.




Here is a group of us in Chinatown. It was not very Chinatowny at all. That sign was the only Chinese thing we could find. We had to search for a Chinese food place to eat. Boston's chinatown is better. It was also kind of lame that all the regular restaurants put their names in chinese to try to fool us into thinking this was the real deal. Seriously. It was not just McDonalds, but all of them. Including Chipotle (a Mexican place).

Once we did find a Chinese food place, it was actually really good. The girl next to me is Sisi. She grew up in China and ordered all of our food in Chinese. I thought it was really cool and probably made it less cool because I was so excited and made a big deal out of it.

During this dinner, we had an interesting conversation about engagement rings and how girls wanted to be proposed to. I realized two things about myself: I know nothing about diamonds and I don't want to. I am just not that type of girl I guess. At one point, I said "But seriously, can anyone tell a difference between the ones you get in Cracker Jack Box and one that's real?" That comment was met with blank stares and shock.

This is Andrea and I next to/below the Jefferson memorial. There is a girl in our ward named Taylor who decided she was going to do "walking firesides" on Sunday nights. She comes up with them on her own. She picks a bunch of interesting or historical sites and learns all about them. She tells the people who come with her everything she has learned and then connects it to the Gospel some way.

On this fireside walk, we went the the Mason memorial, the FDR memorial, and the Jefferson memorial. I learned a bunch of random things about each of the memorials themselves and the men that inspired them.

It was really interesting, but we walked a lot. My feet had big blisters from that night.

Andrea and I in front of George Washington's house in Mt. Vernon. This place was really interesting and I wish we had more time to be there. First of all, that place was beautiful. In back of his house, there is this huge lawn area overlooking the water that is amazing. (Sidenote: I forgot that my family had been to this place until we went to the back of his house and I got flashbacks to rolling down the hill. That is the only thing I remember about going to George Washington's house: the hill.). Second, old George and Martha had some taste. Different rooms had different color themes (my favorite was the green room- everything was green). We got to walk through this house like it was no big deal. Most of the things in the house were originally his and Marthas. Third, there was a sweet museum at the end that we didn't end up being able to stay as long as I would have liked because we only had a couple of hours there. We saw his teeth!

There was a bicentennial celebration of Abraham Lincoln's birth (I think it was his birth... but I am 100% on that). Someone told us President Obama was going to be speaking. So after a tour of the white house that morning, some of us went there and reserved some seating. We thought there was going to be crowds. President Obama did not speak and therefore, no crowds. It was still interesting to hear speakers talk about the legacy of Lincoln and how we still need to improve race relations.

The coolest thing about this celebration was the navy band that played patriotic songs. There was this amazing singer. He got really into all of the songs (including Yankee Doodle Dandy) and it was really beautiful. It was really hot and sunny that day. Almost everyone got burned- but me! How did that happen? I always burn. But somehow I didn't. Honest Abe must have been looking out for me.

Another funny note about this picture: notice the one boy surrounded by girls. He is my friend Erik. It is always him and a group of girls. It's so funny because the guys will often leave the girls because we are taking too long or they want to go play basketball. They ditch us... constantly. But not Erik. What is even funnier is that some of the guys make fun of him for doing this and make him kind of self conscience. But in my opinion, the other guys should learn from Erik. Erik has got it figured out: girls are where the fun is. He even said as much when people asked him why he only hung out with girls. He said something like "Why would I hang out with a bunch of guys when there are girls around?" He's a genius. And not only that, but since he is the usually the only guy, he gets all of the attention and appreciation from all of the girls.

Gentleman, take notes.

Watch out blogging world- here I come!

After much resistance, I have finally consented to starting a blog. I have been very resistant to this for a while now.

Top 7 reasons I resisted starting a blog:

7. Only married people have blogs. I feel like blogging is a right of passage for married life. If single people blog, I have heard a few married people scoff at their style or the stupidity of it. I don't want to seem stupid to married people. I fear their criticism...

6. I have a bias against internet communication. When I was in high school, I had some friends who would chat with each other online all night long. But in person, they were so awkward with each other. They could not figure out how to interact with each other in the real world, only through a computer. Since that experience, I have a bias against communication through internet. I am so worried about people and myself becoming so dependent on technology that we forget how to relate to each other as humans.

5. I do not have a particularly funny writing tone. The best blogs to read are those people who have a particular voice or point of view. I feel like I have either. But more important, a blogger must be funny. Sarcastic, witty, and creative. I am not confident in my ability to do this in written format. In person, I believe I stand a better chance at getting someone to crack a smile or maybe even a chuckle or two. But written word? All bets are off.

4. I am a horrible speller. I mean, it's embarrassing. And, I am very aware that people judge others for their incorrect grammar or misspelled words. I know myself and therefore, I know there are going to be a lot of humiliating mistakes. Hopefully, people will know that I am not dumb, but spelling and bad grammar are a weakness for me.

3. It seems like the "cool" thing to do. I am someone who does not necessarily like to follow the crowd. And right now, it seems like the crowd is definitely blogging. Everyone and their mom (literally for some people) are writing everything about themselves in blogs. Maybe it's the rebel in me or marching to the beat of a different drummer part or maybe the immature teenager seeping out, but part of me did not want to blog because it seemed like everyone else was doing it.

2. Everything I say is on the record. It's permanent. It's quotable. I can't take it back. Well, I can, but it's a little weird. If you are having an argument with someone in person, often times neither person completely makes sense. Or you contradict yourself. Or you end up shifting from one topic to another one completely. But no one really calls you on it because they were there; they did the same thing. But in written word, you can't really do that. You know what I mean.

1. My life is not particularly interesting. I do not have a lot going on. Seriously. I am as boring as they come. Things have picked up a little since I am now in DC, but not a lot is happening. At least, not a lot that I think other people will want to hear about. By not having a blog, people can have this false image of me having a wonderful crazy busy life (which isn't true). By starting a blog, I am openly admitting that I am indeed a loser.

All of that being said, I am starting a blog.

But, to anyone is reading this, be forewarned: I'm just as scared as you are.